i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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