just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
