I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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