it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would fuck him just for his dog
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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