I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Randomize
