Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize