I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
