i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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