There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
