I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
