Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
