haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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