you guys were way drunker than both of me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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