I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
