Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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