don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
