I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
