only if we run a train.
done.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
