WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
