Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
