He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
