how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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