Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize