I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
