I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
