What did we do last night that was yellow?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
