She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize