I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
