i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
