so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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