All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
