So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
