I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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