I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize