id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need water and some morals
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
