Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
