The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
