I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
