I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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