I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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