Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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