that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
