Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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