girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
