you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My feet surprised me
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