she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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