good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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