i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
