okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize