Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
