there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
