I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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