I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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