I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
