The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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