just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
