do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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