Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
