Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
