Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
someone owes me an orgasm
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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