he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
