Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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